Taking Frank Sinatra's Advice

Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way.

I'm on the final week of FXB and as I inch towards Saturday when I'll have my final results, the song that continues to play in my head is Frank Sinatra's My Way. While I'm definitely hoping for some respectable losses, I already feel like I've come out of this with more success than I had hoped. I won't know until Saturday if I reached the inches/weight loss goals, nor will I know how much I've improved on the strength and endurance tests, but I do know what I've accomplished emotionally and spiritually.

I can walk into a room now knowing that I'm my best self, confident and self assured. My improved posture isn't just the result of restistance training or namaste stretches. I hold my head up higher because I feel so damn good about myself. I'm healthier, leaner, happier and so much more excited about who I am.

I was in a rut. I see that now. I was so consumed with making sure the kids and my husband's needs were met; that everyone felt loved and secure in the relationship they have with me, that I forgot about the most important relationship that needed nurturing - the relationship with myself. I lived in workout pants and tee shirts with pancake syrup smudged on the back. My go-to hairstyle was a big, unruly ponytail on top of my head, a new pair of flipflops felt like a guilty pleasure purchase. I'd skip salon appointments and grocery shop after the kids went to bed. Carmex was my makeup ritual some mornings. Laundry was my excercise. I wore drawstring flannel pants to bed with oversized SOCKS! (My poor husband!)

I didn't set out to let myself go, but somewhere, along the way - I lost myself in the people I love so much. I haven't neglected them during this process. On the contrary, they've been grateful recipients of my newfound zest for life. I'm happier, I'm so enjoying the time I have with the kids and I don't immediately want to tear my hair out when things get crazy around here, a fairly frequent occurence with three small children! I paint my toenails every week, I wear shorts (IN A SIZE 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) with fitted tanks and yes, matching flipflops. I've purchased fun, flirty sundresses and tops. I kept my date with my stylist and I'm sporting a sexy, tossled head of hair. I splash some color on my face, spritz a bit of perfume behind my ear, even if my only outting is the market and a run to Target. It's none of your business what I'm wearing to bed these days, but it ain't flannel pants!!!!!!

I just feel......................................amazing. And I think when you truly feel that way, it shows.

I set out to be a success at Farrell's Extreme Bodyshaping. I made personal goals in the very beginning and so far, without knowing my final measurements, I've reached (and surpassed a couple) of those goals. I'm eating nutritious meals, I'm in complete control of what I'm putting in my body, I'm taking time out for me, I'm being as good to me as I am to those I love so much and I'm finally realizing that I deserve to have as good of a life as the people I work so hard for. Ol' Blue Eyes knew what he was doing when he decided to do it his way.

Let's hope the next song running through my head is Brick House. 'Cause that's how I feel!